Butter Lane.

Date of excursion: 09.07.09

After a horrific misunderstanding over school’s “in” or “out” status, a blessing in disguise was made, and the Cupcake Gang could once again reunite on sacred New York soil.

And it was there, beneath the blue urban skies, cupcakes were in our ears, and in our eyes.  So to Butter Lane we went.

And what a glorious Lane it was!  Hip wallpaper!  Frosting shots!  And what’s this?  Choose-your-own-cake-and-frosting combination?  Gadzooks!

The Gang immediately congregated in front of the Holy Blackboard of Choices.  Kindly Clerk presided as a witness.

And so the decision process began.  A banana base?!  A four-for-eleven special?!  French chocolate icing?!

“–uh, we’re out of french chocolate icing.”*

… a four-for-eleven special?!  This place was insane!

After finally constructing our list, we scavenged for seating.  We could foursie a bench, but that would provide minimal face-to-face cupcake discussion.  We could sit outside, but then we’d risk being mobbed by slews of anti-cupcake legions.  So, we opted for the best we could do: the stool and rocking chair in the corner, complete with coffee table accessory.  (And two of us sat on the floor.)

“Looks effin’ delicious in the box,” everyone said, seemingly in unison.

First up: Chocolate Cream-Cheese (chocolate base, cream-cheese icing)

“Crumbles.”

Under the steady hands of Dr. Choco-Choco Chip, the chocolate-base cake began to crumble (specifically, into cr

umbles).  The Gang then doctored* a letter of apology to the family and friends of said butchered base.

“The cream cheese sticks everything together,” Choco-Choco Chip happily noted, whilst consuming the cupcake.

Silence.

“… I feel like God,” Cappuccino Swirl said.

“Finish your remnants, they’re good for you,” Choco-Choco Chip remarked to Vanilla.

Oh.  Yeah.

And then that funky*** tune just kept playing.

Next up: Vanilla Coconut (vanilla base, coconut icing)

Having to switch blades to make the incision in our more vanilla-based base, we realized that whatever chemistry goes on in that Oven Ba-Goven makes vanilla cake crazy-easier to cut than chocolate cake.

“Nice slicin’!” Cappuccino Swirl remarked.  ”Mmm … coconut crunchy.”

Vanilla didn’t understand.

Lemon Meringue was silent.

Too delicious for words.

Next up: Chocolate Maple Pecan (chocolate base, maple pecan icing)

“Uh, hey, are you guys still open?” Rando-Trouser-Travelers said, upon entering the very-much-open establishment.

“We are, indeed, open,” said Kindly Clerk.

Yes.

Choco-Choco Chip wiped her brow.  The music pace made for a dramatic incision.

After the ceremonial chomp, then came the ceremonial lick o’ fingers.

“So good.”

“This tastes like a Vermont vacation,” Choco-Choco Chip noted.

“What’s that?” Vanilla asked.  ”… this is my favorite of cupcake places.”

A good maple pecan can do that to you, Nills.

A good maple pecan.

The moist pockets of chocolate inside did, indeed, complement the mapley Canadian goodness that was the icing.  And boy, did those pockets sure get under our fingernails.****

Lastly: Vanilla Honey Cinnamon (vanilla base, cinnamon icing with a pool of honey)

Choco-Choco Chip dipped the wooden dagger into the golden pool of honey, only to be met by the vanquishing powers of the last cupcake standing.  And so our cutting skewer broke.

Tough love, VHC.  Tough love.  (But no splinters!)

“This tastes like an Eggo Cinnamon Toast waffle,” Choco-Choco Chip noted.

Vanilla agreed, and promptly collapsed onto the floor in joy.

“I mean, it’s not my favorite, but I don’t like that cinnamon kind of spicy taste,” Cappuccino Swirl said.

Everyone stared.

“Then why’d we get it?!” Vanilla demanded.

Silence.

“… I like waffles.”

So, all in all, Butter Lane proved to be a hip, happenin’, organic, and un-crowded place for a very satisfying cupcake bite on a otherwise not-as-satisfying Labor Day evening.  Perhaps a bit skimpy on the seating arrangements, but our Lemon Meringue begged to differ: “The rocking chair alone makes up for it.”

We entered hungry, and left drunk on deliciousness.

Butter Lane: in our ears, eyes, and now our stomachs.

*Much appreciated Kindly Clerk!  He [kindly] notified us about this icing’s M.I.A. status amidst the decision-making process, rather than allowing us to finalize our list only to be crushed by the heavy hand of sugary demand.

**Get it?

***Not funky as in “malodorous,” but as in, “it’s got a wank to it.”

****Fun tip: in anticipation of cupcake-ing, one should probably clip one’s fingernails.  Much like when one eats Indian food.

Butter Lane

123 East 7th Street (between 1st Ave and Avenue A)

(212) 677-2880

Average cost of Cupcake: $3.00

Hours:

Mon-Thu 11am-11pm; Fri-Sat 11am-12am; Sun 12pm-10pm