Date of excursion: 2.1.08
It was raining and pouring. The old man was not snoring.
Vanilla and Lemon Meringue trekked with their Zyrtec (TM) umbrellas*; Cappuccino Swirl’s umbrella was red and Choco-Choco Chip’s umbrella was large and unsightly. They were on their way to the Cupcake Café.
[As a side story, Choco-Choco Chip’s greatest fear (aside from ketchup pee) is when her umbrella blows upward.]
Choco-Choco Chip’s umbrella went insane. It blew upward, and exploded.
Once we arrived at the Cupcake Café, we noted the friendly amalgamation of a children’s book store and a bakery, conveniently decorated for Valentine’s Day. Children adorned one half of the bakery, while the elderly were sprinkled throughout the other half.
We were greeted by the phrase, “Would you like some free brownie samples?” “Indubitably,” we collectively thought. But “Yes,” we collectively replied.
“Well, milk is five dollars. That’s where they get you,” said the man.
We were afraid to laugh, as we do not get the chance to do that often, given the nature of our work. Apparently he was kidding, so we saw a light chortle to be a fitting response.
We purchased cupcakes, and sat down on the border between Children’s Books, USA and Cupcake Land, Mexico. One might think that we could feel the animosity of bitter rivalry and forced adjacency in these two conflicting worlds. On the contrary–we did not. Instead, it was a magical realm of fairytales and transnational harmony.
The first cupcake we undressed (so-called Cupcake One) was a walnut cake with maple icing. The be-flowered cupcake presented a puzzling mixture of flavors during the pre-tasting stage. However, upon the actual tongue-cupcake interface, everyone was pleased (in different ways). The icing had the consistency of chilled butter (the cupcakes are refrigerated!), but tasted like fresh ice cream, while the cake part was more hearty and bread-like.
“It tastes like maple syrup.”
[independently of this statement] “It tastes like PANCAKES.”
“Walnuts? Protein? Protein? Protein?”
Next, came Cupcake Two: mocha cake, with chocolate icing. Adorned with two purple flowers, this cupcake, like it’s maple counterpart, was dressed for success (until we got to it). The icing had a similar, fanciful taste.
We debated purchasing a third cupcake, and finally, after a [non-threatening] bloody battle between Vanilla and Choco-Choco Chip, Vanilla reigned blows upon Choco-Choco Chip’s head, stepped on it, and ran to the counter in order to request a vanilla cupcake with vanilla icing.
“The flowers [on the cupcake] look like boobs,” Anonymous said.
An unequal cut down the middle led to disaster. “Someone is not going to get pollen,” Choco-Choco Chip stated. No one seemed fazed (it turns out, the Zyrtec (TM) helped all of us avoid allergic reactions to the pollen, too!).
Cupcake Three had the same icing consistency as Cupcakes One and Two. Meaning? Crazy delicious.
We entered the Cupcake Café with high hopes and empty stomachs. We left filled with the hearty bread-like nature of the cupcakes, and the dessert-like airiness of the icing. It was truly a dinner for champions.
Cupcake One: Maple Walnut
Cappuccino Swirl: This cupcake was mapley goodness. Cappuccino Swirl was satizfied.
Choco-Choco Chip: It was nutty, but not TOO nutty. It was maple-y, but not TOO maple-y. This is what’s sappenin’. Kazaam!
Lemon Meringue: The icing was the sweet sappiness to my sour.
Vanilla: It’s a muffin. <:)
Cupcake Two: Chocolate Mocha
Cappuccino Swirl: The mocha taste was subtle and smooth. Not as BAM as Cappucino Swirl, but still very jivin’.
Choco-Choco Chip: I completely understand where C2 is coming from. We understand each other. I liken the icing to watching “Space Jam” for the first time–a very positive experience.
Lemon Meringue: It was mocha, but not a bitter coffee.
Vanilla: Huh. I want to go read those children’s books.
Cupcake Three: Vanilla Vanilla
Cappuccino Swirl: The icing was jazzy awesomeness, I would jive with this cupcake anytime.
Choco-Choco Chip: Despite my ongoing feud with Vanilla, I must commit treason against my chocolate brothers. This was the best of the three. It was like dessert, yo.
Lemon Meringue: Cute and yellow. Good.
*Vanilla, Choco-Choco Chip, and Lemon Meringue went to a Zyrtec (TM)** Paradise in Central Park, one day, based on the false premise of hot chocolate. We did not get hot chocolate, but we sure did get a mouthful of whimsy, free umbrellas, and reggae music.
**Did you know that Zyrtec (TM) is now available over-the-counter?
Cupcake Cafe (two locations):
1) 18 W. 18th St. (between 5th and 6th Ave). 212.465.1530 (We went to this location)
Average cost of cupcake: $3.00
2) 545 9th Ave (between 40th and 41 St.) 212.268.9975
1) Sun. 9am-7pm, Mon.-Sat. 8am-8pm
2) Sun. 9am-7pm, Mon.-Fri. 7am-7pm, Sat. 8am-7pm