Date of excursion: 06.07.10
Feelin’ hearty, healthy and contentious, the two arch nemeses, Choco-Choco Chip and Vanilla, decided to truce for the evening in the name of all cupcakes.
(Unfortunately, Gangrades Cappuccino Swirl and Lemon Meringue were not able to join them in holy cakerimony that day.)
The calming, pastel-filled atmosphere of Tulu’s Gluten-Free Bakery called to us like a phone to the phoned. As we made our way in, an owl hooted from a nearby cupcake tree.
“Stop that!” Vanilla growled.
The owl showed no remorse.
Aha! Another chance to dance with our friend, the mini-cupcake, eh? Lovely to make your second acquaintance, mes petits. Although, we must say, readers, that while the flavor choice seemed abundant for our miniature friends, the flavor choices for our larger ones left much to be desired. Namely, more flavor choices.
“Where the choco at?!” Choco-Choco Chip foamed. Vanilla snickered to the side. To no one … at all.
After much debate, much hesitation, and much salivation, we decided on our flavors, and prepared for the glorious potlatch* that was about to commence.
Figure this out: Chocolate Vanilla Cream Cheese
(Blur-tastic image brought to you by Hungry Bowels, the makers of the Impatient Gluttons II: Air Force Mach Four.)
A new frosting flavor in our midst! Vanilla + Cream Cheese? That sounds like a Choco-Choco Chip paradox — all the hate of hatred plus all the goodness of Philadelphia? Could this be real?
Indeed it could be, cupcakers. The frosting was miraculous — light, whipped, fresh, but with all the density and soury-sweet goodness that cream cheese lovers adore. Its chocolate base had a nice grit within its overall moistness, adding texture and depth to an otherwise bland cake. The grit absolved the bland in this tale about Chocolate “Precious” Vanilla Cream Cheese Jones — a sweet kid, a little crumbly around the edges, but with a heart of gold and lots of love and encouragement** from her peers. And she’s been off gluten all this whole time.
We double dare you: Vanilla Strawberry
Another new frosting! Tulu’s, Tulu’s, Tulu’s. You crafty, crafty, crafters.
[“Proud to Be an American” musical interlude.]
Light, whipped, and fresh again! This strawberry frosting knew what it was doing. Vanilla argued that the strawberry taste was strong, but this is comin’ from a cake that don’t like no strawberries. For Choco-Choco Chip, the taste wasn’t as strong, and the after-taste left a nice, melony, strawberry-type-o’-feelin’. The base complemented this frosting well — all while being free o’ gluten! In sum: the happy pink frosting matched the happy pink walls which matched our Happy Pink Sentiments.***
Wh-wh-what would you do?: Chocolate Peanut-Butter
And yet another new frosting flavor! Can you say Funtrepeneur of the Century?***** Nutty, airy frosting, light, earthy consistency — Tulu’s doesn’t try to mask the essence of peanut in this little number. It’s bold, raw, and out there. And very delicious.
(500) Days of: Red Velvet
Upon cutting into this baby******, we realized that, no matter what this tasted like, it was no true red velvet. The color inside resembled more of a rusty iron, if anything.
“If your name was Dustin, would you go by Dusty?”*******
Yes. A rusty iron color, indeed.
Wow! What a fantastic texture all around (although not very chocolatey, as we should have expected from mini # 1). But with cake so moist and cream cheese icing so wonderous, this cupcake represented a wonderful example of commensalism — the cake was greatly improved by his cheesier ally, while the cream cheese icing could have probably ran a few solo laps around the ol’ red stumparoo. But all in all, a great take on a classic flavor combination. ********
So, what to conclude? Our experiences with gluten-free cupcake products have not been totally tainted. Tulu’s Gluten-Free Bakery represented the true combined strengths of frosting and texture, and how a Manhattanite coeliac need not live in a world without cupcakes. For that, friends, is something that we shant even wish upon our greatest enemies.
*(1) A celebration held by some Native Americans, during which the host gives away gifts in accordance with each guest’s social status. The feast may entail destruction of sprinkles and wrappers for rivalry groups. (2) A synonymn for “feast,” re: thefreedictionary.com .
**You get ’em!
***Available for purchase.****
****But not from us.
*****Do not attempt this on Wall Street.
*******Dusty : Dustin :: Rusty : ________
********Otherwise known as a “cake-take.”
338 East 11th Street
New York, NY 10003
Mon-Thu 10:30am-10pm, Fri-Sat 10:30am-10:30pm, Sun 10:30am-9pm
Average cost of cupcake: $3.00